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The Adam Carolla Show

Welcome to the Adam Carolla Podcast! The new home for the rantings and ravings of Adam Carolla, and with Bald Bryan on sound effects. Check it out Adam hangs out with some his pals, like: Larry Miller, David Allen Grier, Dr. Drew Pinksy, Dana Gould, Doug Benson, and many, many more.
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Now displaying: July, 2010

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In addition to the latest 20 episodes for FREE you can now dig into the Adam Carolla Archives. Listen to any show going back to the first podcast on February 23, 2009. Pricing guidelines below. Any Mylibsyn subscription plan allows access to the ENTIRE back catalog. Get it on with some classic Carolla.
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Jul 9, 2010

Writer Mike Lynch is filling in for Bald Bryan today. Adam explains that at one point he worked the sound board, but when he went on his honeymoon, Bryan took over. Now he's reclaiming his rightful place on the SFX board, and he plays several parody songs that he and Dick Banks wrote together once Bryan took over the job.

 

The top news story involves LeBron James deciding to go to Miami next season. Teresa teases Adam about his comments that tall people don't live as long, and they are reminded of their very tall guest Brad Garrett, who was on the show last night. Moving forward, Mel Gibson is in deep water again for several bigoted remarks about latinos, and Adam wonders if maybe in Australian culture, these horrible words don't mean the same thing. Adam concludes that we are actually not as racist in the US as they are in other places in the world, and they all wonder if people will continue to see his movies.

 

After some brief conversation about the Emmy nominations, the guys from Schmoes Know movie reviews return to offer their thoughts on various summer blockbusters. Adam wants to know more about the epic flop of Knight and Day, but the guys say that the failure is not the actor's fault. They also talk about The Last Airbender, and conclude that this could be one of the worst summers for movies ever. There are some bright lights on the horizon, and Adam can't wait to have a marijuana medstrip and go see The Expendables with ESPN's Sports Guy Bill Simmons.

 

Adam takes several calls for a round of Mr. Brightside. One guy recently hit a bum with his car, and another is bummed that he's had to move from San Diego to Kentucky. Another caller is upset that he's about to become a radio co-host with Danny Bonaduce, and the final caller owes a quarter of a million in back-taxes. Adam tries his best to make everyone feel better about their current situations.

 

The last part of the news deals with Lindsay Lohan selling her first post-jail interview. Apparently she won't take less than $1 million, and Adam thinks it's because she's broke. Even though she gets paid to make club appearances, that's not enough to pay the bills. The Schmoes Knows guys offer their thoughts on the new Linda Lovelace biopic that she will be starring in, and before they wrap up the show, Teresa jumps into a double-round of Germany or Florida.

 

To see the Schmoes Know film reviews, visit their page at: http://www.youtube.com/schmoesknow

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Writer: Mike Lynch

Audio: Mike Dawson

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Katie Levine

Build and Edit: Katie Levine 

Phones: Brian Myer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Jul 8, 2010

After talking about our cultural differences with Guatemala, Teresa jumps into the news. Lonnie Franklin, Jr. is also known as the Grim Sleeper, and has allegedly murdered at least 10 hookers. Adam says this is why you don't give your kid a Jr., and also says that the killer gives mechanics a bad name. The DNA was gathered from a discarded slice of pizza, and Adam says, 'Information won't rob us of our civil liberties, unless we did something wrong.' He talks about the evolution of information technology through sports, and Teresa agrees that DNA evidence mostly just exonerates people.

 

Michael Lohan is in the news again, this time for causing problems at a Saddle Ranch restaurant. Adam talks about how Lohan is a bit of a fame whore, which transitions into a discussion about recent podcast guest and former Bachelor star Jake Pavelka. His ex-girlfriend recently whored herself out on TV, just to say that Jake is a fame whore. Other news stories involve Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough.

 

When Brad Garrett comes into the studio, Adam talks about his recent experience being on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.' When Adam first agreed to do the show, the producers sent him a disc to watch as an example, and it happened to be Brad's episode. They both agreed that it was fun to do the show, but secretly Adam was terrified of freezing up on an easy question. Brad jokes that he got to pick the kids who helped feed him the answers.

 

They talk a bit about the Brad Garrett Comedy Club, which just opened at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. He and Adam talk about doing standup, doing impressions, and also working with Ray Ramano. Brad is clearly very happy that Ray continues to have success on TV, and Brad is also experiencing success on his show 'Til Death'. Brad says he misses and loves stand-up, and it's been great designing his own comedy space and watching new performers blow everyone away.

 

After a few rounds of Hobo Power, the show jumps into the rest of the news. LeBron James and his mother are being sued for allegedly covering up the identity of his natural born father. The man claims that he impregnated LeBron's mom when she was 15, and slowly put the pieces together. No one on the show thinks they look related.

 

At the end of the show, Brad teases Teresa about her own Hobo power, and the conversation turns to sex and marriage. Adam says that women shouldn't fake their orgasms every time, and Brad flirts with Teresa about her own sexual habits. He also talks a bit about his previous marriage and divorce, and how it's always rough on the kids. Wrapping up the sex talk, the final news story involves a Dutch porn star who's offered blowjobs to all her Twitter followers if Netherlands wins the World Cup.

 

See Brad Garrett perform monthly at his new venue at The Tropicana: The Brad Garrett Comedy Club.

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Writer: Mike Lynch

Audio: Mike Dawson

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Chris Laxamana

Build and Edit: Chris Laxamana

Phones: Brian Myer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Jul 7, 2010

 

Coming back from the long weekend, Adam talks about how much he actually enjoys going to the beach. He talks a bit about going to Jimmy Kimmel’s 4th of July party, and both he and Teresa love how the lower-income areas usually set off the fireworks before it even gets dark. Adam also talks about fireworks during soccer games, and discusses his love for ESPN’s 30-for-30 series. 

 

The news goes into a series of stories revolving around troubled relationships. There’s Terri Horman, the woman who allegedly hired someone to kill her husband, and then there’s Jake and Vienna, arguing on national television during an emotional breakup. They also talk about Jesse James’ ex wife Janine trying to get custody of their kids, and the story of a 91-year-old widow who exhumed and lived with the corpses of her husband and sister.

 

Dr. Drew steps in the studio just in time to talk about Lindsay Lohan. She’s recently been sentenced to 90 days in jail, and 90 days of treatment. Dr. Drew talks about addicts who just aren’t into recovering, and agrees with both the judge’s decision, and the spirit in which the sentence was given. He says that jail can be helpful, but doesn’t necessarily think it will be enough in Lindsay’s case. Reminding Adam of his old MTV days, he recalls the time he and Dr. Drew had to fight for bleacher seats at the MTV movie awards.

 

Teresa asks about casting rumors for the next season of Celebrity Rehab. Dr. Drew says he is on call to start the next season at any time, but even he is unaware of who is actually going to be cast. Adam and Dr. Drew then spend some time talking about their own families. Dr. Drew is worried about his wife’s pending empty nest system, and Adam continues to show concern over his daughter growing up to hate him. Dr. Drew is fascinated by Adam’s relationship with his kids, and recalls the time his daughter faked a poo-poo to get out of a hug.

 

Towards the end of the podcast, Adam and Dr. Drew take listener calls to give relationship advice. One caller noticed the girl he’s dating has been shown in an ‘ex-girlfriends’ porn website. Another is concerned about being a compulsive liar. Adam talks about his inability to lie growing up, and hails the glory of medical marijuana strips. Finally, a caller suggests he has a problem dating religious women, and Adam is reminded that cult leaders do it to bang hot chicks.

 

Listen to Dr. Drew regularly on Loveline, and see him appearing as the doctor on MTV’s Warren the Ape. You can also follow him on twitter @DrDrew

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Writer: Mike Lynch

Audio: Mike Dawson

Search: Katie Levine

Build and Edit: Chris Laxamana

Phones: Brian Meyer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

 

Jul 6, 2010

A sound cue from Bald Bryan right at the top of show gets Adam talking about whether or not George Jetson is gay. They get Isaac Hayes take on the situation, and Adam does his best to stand up for straight guys without coming off as being uptight. Teresa then jumps into the news and talks about a series of older women who have recently experienced problems after giving birth at such an old age.

 

The next news story deals with a homeless man named Darrell Bess who was found naked with stolen cheese. Apparently he also had DVDs on him as well, and Adam talks about how poor people have to work ridiculously hard to fuel their drug habits. It reminds him of his dad checking old music records out at the library. He wonders if all the back and forth effort was worth it, and couldn’t he have just bought it once? Playing a track from Dion Warwick, Adam recalls a rough drive home from Las Vegas when his girlfriend broke up with him.

 

A cease and desist case has been brought against ThinkGeek.com for claiming that Unicorn Meat is the other white meat. Think Geek issued a very sarcastic response, which Teresa gleefully reads out loud. And speaking of legal issues, Michael Douglas is in the news because his ex-wife is demanding profits from the new Wall Street movie that’s coming out. It’s really a question of whether or not a sequel is the same thing as a spinoff, and Adam fears that this case is going to open a can of worms in the entertainment industry.

 

Missy Suicide comes into the studio to talk about SuicideGirls.com. The website features pin-up style photos of girls who ‘choose to commit social suicide and not fit in.’ Missy got started in 2001 after realizing the girls with the most personality were really the most beautiful. She talks about marketing the idea, comparing it to burlesque star Betty Page, and also talks about filming the new reality horror movie Suicide Girls Must Die.

 

Before the final section of news, Adam and Teresa take several calls for a few rounds of Made-Up Movie. Basically you call in with a fake movie title, and everyone riffs on it to create a story. Along the way, they create new vehicles for actors like Ice Cube, Carlos Mencia, and Reese Witherspoon. Afteward, Adam spends a long time talking about what a doofus Jon Gosselin is for getting a huge tattoo on his back, and everyone jokes about the Kmart Shoplifter who stole 44 pairs of underwear.

 

They talk about Rob Lowe’s memoir that’s coming out, which claims that he’s been an actor for 40 years. Adam doesn’t like when they say that and you’re only 42 years old. You can’t say you’ve been acting since you were two if you were just held on stage as an infant. The final news story deals with Bachelor star Jake Pavelka, who was recently on the podcast. Adam says he’s a nice guy, but questions the type of person who claims they want to find love, then reveals they’re just trying to further their acting career.

 

Suicide Girls Must Die is out now, and check out all the great pictures on SuicideGirls.com

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons
Writer: Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Search: Logan Moy

Build and Edit: Katie Levine

Phones: Katie Levine

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Jul 5, 2010

Teresa’s got a drink in her hand, and Bryan is at the ready with the sound effects. Adam immediately jumps into what a white town Irvine is. The people at the gas station trust you with your credit cards, and even the bathroom was clean! Adam gets in a few rounds of What Can’t Adam Complain About, and Teresa reveals an interesting bathroom habit she has for her first dates. Later they talk with Isaac Hayes about the afterlife.

 

The top news story is Mel Gibson’s latest racial slur. His baby mama Oksana Grigorieva has audio of various racial rants, and also threats of him burning his house down. Adam thinks it’s hilarious when people weave insults into their backhanded compliments. Either way, the NAACP is not accepting an apology. When Adam asks where Danny Glover comes down on all this, Bryan says he’s too old for this shit.

 

After a story about Tori Spelling’s husband, Dana Gould comes onto the program and talks about his recent trip to China. He says that there is a one-child policy there that heavily favors boys, so they adopted a baby girl. Dana talks about the weirdest thing he saw in the city, and also talks about how his daughters are reacting to the newest member of their family. Dana also says that ‘Asian chicks are off limits now.’ Wiping his new daughter’s poop, he can only see the same image on the women he sees on the street. The boys also crack wise about homeless dogs and transvestites.

 

For a segment of Huell’s Jewels, the whole gang does running commentary while clips from Huell Howser’s PBS program plays in the background. Between clips, they pause and talk about what they just saw. Most of the conversations on the show itself are painfully boring, but everyone has a great time tossing out jokes about rocks you can lick, and the Bagdad Cafe.

 

Teresa attempts to do the second bit of the news, but Dana and Adam keep jumping in with chauvinistic jokes and comments about Elena Kagan’s confirmation process (‘not jerkable’). Eventually we hear the story of Germany man on a train arrested for having an Adolf Hitler ringtone, but somehow they go off topic and end up talking about porn and accidental ‘mangasms’.

 

The last set of news stories deals with a judge in Ohio who got mad at a man for spitting on his jury. He punished him by forcing him to wear a diaper and mosquito net over his face. Teresa next news story involves the sale of an interesting looking couch, but Adam explains he does not want a used, ‘fully functional’ vagina couch. Adam recalls the old days when people would just sell normal shit. 

 

They talk about the fact that Tiger Woods is about to be single again, and even though he and his wife had a prenup, speculations of how much money Elin Woods will get in the divorce are sky high. The final news story revolves around Sean Penn’s new movie about a surfer who quit his job and took his kids surfing around the world. Dana is already very familiar with the story, and says it’s exactly like Sean’s last movie, Into the Wild.

 

To hear more from Dana Gould, visit his website at: www.danagould.com 

Or follow him on Twitter @DanaJGould

 

As always, Bryan is at www.aninconvenienttumor.com

And Teresa is at www.exploitingmybaby.com

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Writer: Mike Lynch

Audio: Mike Dawson

Search: Logan Moy

Build and Edit: Katie Levine

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Jul 2, 2010
This Week in This Week:
 -Adam talks about his trouble while Tivo'ing Entourage
 -Guest Funny Dave Dameshek asked the crew about whether they believe in heaven and hell.
 -Comedian Rich Shydner from the movie "I Am Comic" talks about selling comedy to Jeff Foxworthy
 -Guests Dietrich Bader and his wife Dulcy sit in for a round of Totally Topical Tivo Trivia Time Today
 -Adam shares his thoughts on the Supreme Court nomination hearings.
 -Adam talks about his troubles with daughter Natalia and the history of the Carolla women and their dads.
 -Alcoa presents "Definitely Not a Jew"
 -Adam talks about more trouble with Natalia.
Jul 1, 2010
Bryan isn't feeling so great after another round of chemo. It reminds Adam of the time he had a yeast infection and had to go to the Santa Monica free clinic. He says the place was staffed with 'angry lesbians [who think] your junk is the enemy.' Teresa says the clinic on Vermont is even worse. Adam says he's going to have an uncomfortable conversation with his son to warn him about the dangers of heroin and lube.

Adam recalls a conversation he had with recent guest Diedrich Bader about who has the better Trader Joes. Diedrich also asked Adam what the name of his kids' school is, but Adam had no idea. It sends him off on a rant about how he shouldn't have to know the name of the school since he's paying for it. Teresa also points out that it's ridiculous that we have to participate even though we're paying, and she mentions a Super Freakonomics story that blames our bad school systems on feminism.

Jumping into the news, Elena Kagan is already being challenged while she's being sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice. One particular female senator clearly didn't have a question prepared, and attempted a joke about the Twilight series. Adam says that all these politicians need to realize 'you're not funny, keep it brief, stick to the business at hand.' He also points out that the Twilight series is the 'Biggest cop-out in the world … with werewolves, we're ripping off two movies now.'

Teresa recalls Adam's slogan for prevention of STDs in Africa: 'Cum on the tits.' She says there's a new South Africa rape prevention device for women that essentially works like a female condom with spikes. Once a man is hit with it, there's no way to remove the teeth without going to a doctor, at which point they'll be arrested. Adam thinks it's a good idea, but is worried that the rapists will counter with a Kevlar condom. And speaking of sexual abuse, the final news story revolves around Ferris Bueller star Jeffrey Jones, back in the news again for forgetting to register as a sex offender.

Hot Hot Heat is brought in studio, and right off the bat Adam asks if they're Canadian. They talk a little bit about decriminalizing marijuana, and then Adam asks the band about how they formed. They go into more detail about stories on the road, particularly the state of the bathrooms while on tour. It reminds Adam of the time he revoked podcast announcer Dawson's bathroom privileges for peeing on the toilet seat when two urinals were clearly open.

The band goes into why it took so long to make their newest album, Future Breeds. Apparently they were unsatisfied with their label, and so they decided to build their own studio and produce the album on their own. Adam draws comparisons to the Radiohead self-released album, and also to his own podcasting career and how he would never want to go back to radio. Hot Hot Heat refers to this type of independent spirit as 'Freedom and Rebellion.' 

Adam asks the band something he's never asked another band before: do you think you're better than other bands? Overall, the band seems unconcerned with how they compare, and instead are just focusing on their own music and reaching 'that meditative state on stage.' They also talk about bands they've opened for that have really impressed them, like Queens of the Stone Age or Modest Mouse. Adam says he saw Third Eye Blind live, not so great. Wrapping up the show, Adam and HHH exchange brilliant ideas: if the band will cover Focus by Hocus Pocus, Adam will record a commentary track for The Room.

Hot Hot Heat will be going back on tour in August. In the meantime, grab their new album Future Breeds, and find out more information at: www.hothotheat.com


Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons
Writer: Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Search: Logan Moy
Build and Edit: Katie Levine
Phones: Brian Myer
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler
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