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Welcome to the Adam Carolla Podcast! The new home for the rantings and ravings of Adam Carolla, and with Bald Bryan on sound effects. Check it out Adam hangs out with some his pals, like: Larry Miller, David Allen Grier, Dr. Drew Pinksy, Dana Gould, Doug Benson, and many, many more.
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In addition to the latest 20 episodes for FREE you can now dig into the Adam Carolla Archives. Listen to any show going back to the first podcast on February 23, 2009. Pricing guidelines below. Any Mylibsyn subscription plan allows access to the ENTIRE back catalog. Get it on with some classic Carolla.
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Nov 22, 2013
Alex Borstein sits down for a podcast about working on Family Guy, keeping a shopping cart in your bedroom, and Jews who ride motorcycles. Plus, Neel Chatterjee talks with Adam about representing Mark Zuckerberg, and Adam's patent troll issue.
5 Comments
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  • over six years ago
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    here's the remainder on the letter (sorry to be so long-winded):

    ...teenagers, and everyone for that matter, can understand. It's an hour long, but I throw in just enough humor to keep it interesting. Besides talking about how much time I got, I also go into detail about the long sought after happiness and satisfaction that came along only after I got clean. Prior to that, I'd been on an almost 20 year day by day quest for instant gratification and continuous pleasure through the use of mind-altering substances. I never realized drugs and alcohol were the very things keeping me from experiencing real serenity.

    My plan after getting sentenced was to speak about the dangers of drugs and crime to as many high schools, youth groups, and churches as possible. I did have the privilege of telling my story a few times, but not nearly as much as I'd hoped. Hence, the video.

    You can access it for free at: www.roblong.us

    There's no catch. No fine print. No buy-this-in-order-to-get-that free. I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm just trying to do some good. You don't have to enter any info or fill out any online forms. Just point and click. There's a few different formats for the video. If the first one doesn't work with your computer, try one of the others. There's no copyright on it, and it costs nothing to download and watch. If you think the message I'm sending is valuable, feel free to make a DVD. Make several. Make one for every parent, teacher, guidance counselor, on-campus cop, clergy member, and youth group leader in your area. Please send a copy of this document along as a form of introduction.

    I want younger people to understand how serious the consequences are these days for being even a low-level drug dealer. That's all I was. I had no idea I'd get in as much trouble as I did. When I was out there "runnin' and gunnin'" I thought for sure I'd just get a slap on the wrist on my first offense. I was wrong. Very wrong. An eight year sentence isn't the end of the world, but it definitely got my attention. The government's not playing around with this stuff. If you get involved at the level where you actually make a little money, and you get caught, you can easily end up in serious trouble. So please, share my website and video with someone you think might be headed down the wrong path. Perhaps hearing it from me, a guy that's sitting in prison, will straighten them out. By the way, this isn't a hoax. You can check my inmate status on the Federal Bureau of Prisons website.

    Thank you for your time. Have a great day.

    Sincerely,
    Robert G. Long

    ps I can be reached by good old fashioned US mail at:

    Robert Long ----------
    Federal ----------
    PO Box --------
    Sheridan, OR 97378

    Please reply so I know whether or not you received this. Also, please let me know if you have any trouble downloading the video. I've got a buddy on the outside that can fix the download mechanism if it gets jammed up.
    --------------------------------------
    --------------------------------------------

    He ended up serving approx 6 years of the eight year sentence in Sheridan. The feds give approx 50 days off per year for good behavior, and 7-12 months off if you do their drug/alcohol program. He's free now, so the address at the prison is no longer valid. Also, he's only one of multiple people named Robert Long listed as a federal felon.
  • over six years ago
    Anonymous
    Wild shit! From what I understand, that guy Rob Long sent a letter to every high school counseling dept in the United States while he was locked up. Here's the letter he sent...

    front page:
    Dear Sirs and Madams:

    I hope this letter finds you in great spirits and health. Besides being incarcerated, I'm doing well. I've been mailing substance-abuse-awareness-youth-crime-prevention letters (like the one on the reverse side of this document) to high schools and middle schools across the country since getting myself locked up over five years ago. I'm trying to get one to every high school in the country, and it appears I haven't sent one to your school yet, so here you go.

    Once I'm back in the free world, I've got an enormous amount of catching up to do in terms of being a responsible, law-abiding, God fearing (and loving), productive citizen. This simple letter writing project isn't much, but it is a kind of first step in that direction for me.

    From the time I was 16 until I was 33 years old, I abused alcohol, weed, coke, and meth on a very regular basis. I was able to pull it together most days in order to go to work or family get-togethers, but other than that, I was pretty much an alcohol besotted/drug addled fool. So it's safe to say I haven't been much a contributor to the overall good of our great country.

    As you can imagine, prison --- even a federal camp like the one I'm in --- is not an ideal place to be (think 20 year ongoing Stanford Prison Experiment), so I'm hoping widespread utilization of the free video available at www.roblong.us will decrease the number of young people that will end up spending time in one. Although I'm very thankful to God for sending police on the armed intervention that got me clean and sober (and subsequently led to my incarceration), I don't want anyone else to go through the same trouble.

    There's a lot of criminals out there that don't want younger folks to know how much trouble they're likely to get in for being even a low level drug dealer. They'd prefer to have a never ending supply of young knuckleheads out there to take the majority of risks for them and their associates. I'm done with drugs, so I'd like to give the younger folks a heads up.

    I'm extremely limited in how much mail I can afford to send out (I was in it more for the endless supply of drugs than the money -- but no, I'm not looking for funding, so please don't try to send me money), so I'm hoping you'll share copies of this letter with all the parents, teachers, counselors, on-campus cops, and clergy members you know.

    The website www.roblong.us isn't anything fancy, however its sole purpose is simply to provide educators, parents, and clergy members with free downloads of the cautionary tale video.

    I'm not trying to be a hero, mentor, or role model. Nor am I trying to play the role of big-bad-hardcore criminal. I'm also not on some kind of anti mind-altering substances crusade, and I'm certainly not an advocate for the War on Drugs (although I'm thankfully now a teetotaler, it seems fairly obvious there's plenty of adults out there who can handle their intoxicants in a responsible manner).

    I'm just trying to help people like you remind younger people how easily things can tumble (or slowly drift) out of control if they mess around with drugs and crime.

    Sincerely,

    Robert Long

    ps Although I don't go into my faith much in the video, it goes without saying that any good that comes out of this letter writing project is purely thanks to God. May God richly bless you and all your students.


    back page:
    Hello, my name is Robert Long.
    I'm in prison right now because I used to be a drug dealer. I was sentenced to 96 months in the BOP (Federal Bureau of Prisons) in January of '07. I surrendered myself to custody on February 5th, 2007. I'm hoping you can use my story to put a dent in the addiction epidemic and criminality glorification that is poisoning our country. I used to be part of the problem. Moving forward, I'd like to be part of the solution.

    I've already served over half of my sentence, and I'm looking forward to my future as a law abiding, responsible, productive citizen in the free world. Take my word for it: freedom is HIGHLY underrated. About my sentence: I'm not complaining. I've met too many people in here with longer sentences than mine, so complaining would be foolish.

    I just want younger folks out there to understand the penalties for getting involved in full-time crime are severe, even on a first offense. I also want them to understand how easy it is to become a full blown drug addict or alcoholic. How it sneaks up on you. Nobody ever plans on growing up to be a drug addicted/alcoholic convict. Our popular culture these days tends to leave out the bad parts of a carefree criminal lifestyle. Please don't misunderstand; I'm not blaming our country's addiction, alcoholism, and crime problems on film, music, and other types of entertainment media. As a matter of fact, I now view these artistic outlets as a form of social commentary. Can they perpetuate the problem? Sure. Are they the root of the problem? No way.

    Ahhhh, but I digress...before reporting to the BOP to serve my sentence, I was lucky enough to make a video about where drugs and crime took me and a lot of other people I know. Mark Harris, a professor at Lane Community College, put it together. He did a fine job.

    In the video I do not in any way glamorize my old lifestyle as a meth dealer. There simply wasn't anything glamorous about it. A lot of people try to make being a drug dealer into something it's not. There's nothing romantic about selling dope. People that try to tell you it's easy money, and it's cool, don't know what they're talking about. Chances are they've never tried it on any kind of large scale for a prolonged period of time.

    The truth is, actually making a decent living at it is very stressful, and the consequences are often huge. So, in the video, I tell how I got involved (without implicating anyone else...nobody forced me to be a drug dealer); and I talk in a way I think
  • six and a half years ago
    Bob Wong
    Fucking patent trolls!!! I hope you toss 'em a hardcore beat down Ace.

    Now, about that fella, Robert (41), that called in during this podcast from Oregon. That guy sounded like one heck of good dude. Maybe a little bit of an overzealous knucklehead in his ways as a fan, but a good dude none-the-less. I could just hear it in his voice! You ought to have that guy on the show once he's off probation and allowed to travel out of state.

    Oops! Did a little research, and come to find out, that guy Robert was an absolute fuck-up all through his teens, twenties, and the first couple years of his thirties. Kinda rolled with the whole "live every day like it's your last" idiot mantra that you sometimes talk about. From what I understand, he managed to have an absolutely spotless record until the age of 33, when he got hit with a drug trafficking charge (guess he was some sort of small time drug dealer).

    Anyways, looks like before he left for the hooskow, he made a cautionary tale video for teachers to show their students about what really happens (even on a first offense) when you delve too far into the wannabe gangsta/dope dealer world. The video is COMPLETELY free (no online forms to fill out or anything like that) and available for download at:

    roblong.us

    Everyone knows a youngster that just can't seem to get his shit together and wear his pants and cap the way real baseball players do. This video isn't much, but Rob was hoping to get through to some of these youngsters before they too get hit with a drug charge that results in them spending multiple years behind bars. Rob blames no one but himself for being such a gigantic fuck up. Although Rob believes in God, it ain't a religious video.

    I think Rob sent letters to educators while he was locked up. I was somehow able to come up with a few of the responses:

    "Thank you for sharing your struggle with me and the young people at our school."
    -Rosemary "Taliba" Carr, School Counselor, L.A. Center for Enriched Studies (Los Angeles, California)

    "Most videos are short and try for the shock approach to help students see the dangers of substance abuse. Your very different approach is a good idea."
    -Kati Swanson, TMCC High School (Reno, Nevada)

    "I showed [my class] the video and they really grabbed a hold of what you were saying."
    -Kevin Wisdom, Teacher at Chico High School (Chico, California)

    "I will keep your letter and how to access your video as part of the available resources to the districts and schools."
    -Nancy J. Latini, Ph.D., Assistant Superintendent, Office of Student Learning & Partnerships, Oregon Department of Education

    "I am passing your letter on to our Director of Curriculum and Instruction, to share with our principals and counselors."
    -Nancy Golden, Superintendent, Springfield (my hometown in Oregon) Public Schools

    "Your message is powerful regarding the consequences for making poor choices and how your choices have negatively impacted your life..."
    -Patsy J. Holmes, Director of the Department of Student Support Services, Baltimore County Public Schools (Baltimore, Maryland)

    "After viewing your video, it seems most appropriate to be used in our high schools..."
    -Deborah E. Duskey, Chief Specialized Services Officer, Chicago Public Schools (Illinois)
    -----------------------------------

    Absolutely love the show AceMan and crew! I reckon it's making Rob's days of monotonous factory work much, much, much more endurable. May God richly bless you all!!!


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