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The Adam Carolla Show

Welcome to the Adam Carolla Podcast! The new home for the rantings and ravings of Adam Carolla, and with Bald Bryan on sound effects. Check it out Adam hangs out with some his pals, like: Larry Miller, David Allen Grier, Dr. Drew Pinksy, Dana Gould, Doug Benson, and many, many more.
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Now displaying: August, 2010

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Aug 10, 2010

Adam just got back from a weekend in Phoenix, and talks about the sold-out six show run. He also talks about killing time during the day, and plugs our new sponsor as Teresa analyses his fashion choices for the day. Adam also talks about having to submit pictures for the publication of his upcoming book, and reminisces about a bunch of them. They read a copy of the first review Adam ever received, and he also talks about his first pet, Lotzi.

 

The news opens with more details about Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller’s broken relationship. They talk about Brooke’s jealousy of Charlie’s father-daughter bond, all based on a shared favorite song. On the opposite side of the father-daughter relationship spectrum, Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter is releasing a porno. The group discusses how much she must hate her father, and also talk about other actresses dealing with their parents’ reaction to their film nudity.

 

Larry Miller comes in, adding more to the Lawrence Fishburne story. He also comments that he knew one of the guys referenced in the same issue of Adam’s LA Weekly review. Adam points out that when you write a book, it ‘forces you to get your [memory] box out.’ Adam and Larry play a few rounds of The Hypothetical Road Trip Game, and both share stories about cars with unusual smells.

 

Today’s guest is Mariana Klaveno, who you may recognize from True Blood. They talk about her Vampire sex scenes on the HBO series, and Adam talks about the awkwardness of filming a scene where he had to make out with his friend’s wife. Mariana also talks about keeping her job as a restaurant hostess long after she landed the series role. Adam recalls stories of seeing her at the restaurant, and gets her to open up and enact ‘hostess revenge’ on some of the celebrities she’s dealt with in the past.

 

Adam dives even further into the past, asking Mariana about her childhood and how she decided to go into the industry. She says it’s something she always wanted to do, and quickly went to college and packed up the car to Hollywood. Jumping back into the news, Teresa reveals a list of actresses who didn’t make to Forbes’ Highest Paid, but should have. Examples include Jane Lynch and Christina Hendricks, which sends Adam into stories about working on The Hammer and proclaiming to women everywhere that guys have always, and will always, love tits and ass.

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Chris Laxamana

Build and Edit: Katie Levine

Phones: Brian Meyer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Aug 9, 2010

Adam opens with a conversation about knowing people by their habits. He says that he’s not necessarily smarter than anyone else, he just trusts his instincts that most people don’t change. He and Teresa discuss the option of having a ‘Sane’ stamp on your driver’s license, and Adam talks about women being more instinctual than men. There’s also some talk about Adam’s wife shockingly cleaning the car, and Bald Bryan’s success record at Totally Topical Tivo Trivia.

 

In the news, a drunk pregnant woman was arrested for stealing money for drugs. They joke about drive thru Mexican food, the glory of taco tracks, and fucked up people having fucked up kids. Adam also talks about his relationship with his own kids for a bit, and how his daughter goes out of her way to be mean, while Sonny is as affectionate as ever. The final two news stories both deal with animals: a dog who saved his owner’s life by biting off his toe, and a Chinese fishmonger who fell into a tank of eels, only to have one swim up his ass.

 

Adam takes a few listener calls, starting with someone who wants to know what Adam thinks about ESPN Sports Guy Bill Simmons twittering about Adam’s relationship with Jay Leno. Adam speaks for a while about how ‘we live in a time when everyone talks trash about everyone else.’ He relays his experiences working with both Leno and David Letterman, and insists that from his perspective, Jay is a much nicer guy. Another caller demands that Adam recant his statements about chapstick, and the final caller wants advice before setting off to make a documentary. Adam says you should never make something just because you think it will be popular; you should instead make something because you’re passionate about it.

 

Comedian Lisa Ann Walter enters the studio and recalls auditioning to play Adam’s wife in his TV pilot. We soon find out that both of them used to work at McDonalds, though Adam was never allowed to work past the grill. Lisa teases that the counter was a whole new level of elegance, and says that she holds a record for having served 90 people in one minute.

 

Lisa is also the executive producer for Dance Your Ass Off, and she would often be around when Adam was on Dancing with the Stars. Adam talks about the nervous pressure of the first dance, and how he embarrassed himself in front of Marisa Jaret Winokur (who later became the host of DYAO).  Rumor had it that Marisa was let go for not being heavy, but Lisa says it’s bullshit. She herself identifies with being fat, adding, ‘we all self loathe.’ Now Mel B. (former Spice Girl) is the host, and Lisa says she might go gay for her. Adam agrees, and says he’d go gay for Mel G.

 

Dance Your Ass Off airs Mondays at 10pm on Oxygen.

You can follow Lisa on Twitter @Lisaannwalter. 

 

And Adam is also now twittering! Follow @AdamCarolla

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Chris Laxamana

Build and Edit: Katie Levine

Phones: Brian Myer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Aug 6, 2010

1. Lisa Lampinelli - getting married to Jimmy Big Balls
2. Nils Lofgrin - playing w/ Springsteen, plays a song.
3. Relationship advice w/ Lisa Lampinelli
4. Adam Wins Tivo
5. Lisa Lampinelli - Roasts
6. Nils Lofgrin plays us out 

Aug 5, 2010

The show gets started right off the bat important News: Adam’s book is doing gangbusters on the charts. Adam sincerely thanks everyone for all their support, and gives his fans credit for understanding this ‘new dawn’ in the consumer-buyer relationship. In national news, Proposition 8 was overturned today, and may go as far as the Supreme Court to decide whether gays have a constitutional right to marry. Adam says, like pot, this is something ‘people shouldn’t give a shit about.’ He and Teresa discuss how it can be seen as a violation of civil rights, though Adam also understands how some people can see this as Americans ‘sliding away from the traditional society they want.'

 

In celebrity news, Giselle Bundchen recently had a baby, and everyone is talking about how great she still looks. She’s also in the news for advocating breast-feeding, but Adam is just mostly blown away at how much money she makes for saying so little. After a brief story about a guy in New York who sells grilled cheese sandwiches disguised to look like drugs, Teresa brings up a story of Jessica and Ashley Simpson’s father Joe once again trying to ruin his daughter’s careers. They talk about Ashley’s SNL debacle, Jessica’s reputation for being ‘sexual napalm,’ and Adam fantasizes what that might be like.

 

Before the guest is brought in, the group plays a round of Totally Topical TiVo Trivia. It’s first to five, and a real nailbiter. Then Dan Milano of MTV’s Warren the Ape steps in, and talks about his early experiences working on the series Greg the Bunny. Dan discusses being up obsessed with Muppets as a kid, and growing up to make new characters with friends once he was given a cable access show. They talk about other famous TV puppets, include Kukla, Fran and Ollie and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Dan also talks about being at Comic-Con, and working on a script for a remake of Short Circuit.

 

T brings back the news with more revelations from Angelina Jolie’s biography. Apparently she once hired a hitman to kill herself, and Adam re-enacts what he would do if he was given that job. They also discuss the Dugger family, which leads Adam into commentary about having way too many kids and God’s will. Another news story deals with Justin Bieber’s upcoming movie, and also a few other entertainment related stories involve Diablo Cody, LeAnne Rimes, and Mike Tyson.

 

Jeremy London was recently in the news for claiming to be kidnapped and forced to do drugs—conveniently just before having to take a drug test. His family maintained that he was struggling with a drug addiction, and now he’s on Celebrity Rehab. This brings everything back full circle to Dan’s show, Warren the Ape, which also features Dr. Drew. He and Adam joke about working with him, and Dan talks a bit more about the improvised realism of his show. Adam goes on a long jag about various levels of quality in gas stations, and the show ends with a brief commentary of Mel Gibson’s recently released emails.

 

To see Dan’s work, check out Warren the Ape on MTV, Mondays at 1030. Greg the Bunny is also available on DVD.

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Katie Levine

Build and Edit: Katie Levine

Phones: Brian Meyer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Aug 4, 2010

Adam opens by discussing his recent conversation with documentarian Ken Burns. Adam says that race came up, and that he thought Ken said something disturbing. Essentially the question was whether or not you'd be willing to switch places with Chris Rock... to which Adam says absolutely, in the drop of a hat. They also talk about which celebrities the valet guy thought were assholes, and Adam asks Teresa a very sensitive question about his daughter's bathroom habits.

 

Jumping into the news, the first story revolves around the Bachelorette finale. They talk about contestant Chris overplaying the 'mom dying card,' but Adam jokes about wishing he could have killed his mom when he was single so he could get laid. They also listen to a breakup clip from the show, which Teresa said she did not see coming. The second part of the news is too depressing, so T asks Adam to chose between the two stories. The one he picks involves six kids drowning while trying to save their friend, and this sends Adam off on a huge rant about parents focusing on unimportant things like tap water and third-hand smoke, instead of more practical things like keeping the pool gate closed.

 

Queen of Mean Lisa Lampanelli enters the studio and wastes no time joking about her fiances big balls. She talks about her upcoming wedding this fall, and how the florist is  overcharging her. She offers her thoughts on The Bachelorette finale, and everyone gets to talking about all kids of trash TV; including The View and Real Housewives of New Jersey. They also talk about wedding dress shopping at Big and Tall stores, and plus size models with small faces.

 

Adam takes a few listener calls to give relationship advice. One caller is concerned with his girlfriend's family who speaks french in front of him, and another is wondering if he should break up with his girlfriend before going off to college. Adam says to both of them not to fight fate, and just understand that you're young and will likely meet many women before you get married. He also spends some time talking about his own break from his wife before they got married, and the benefits of being single and playing the field before settling down. 

 

Teresa reminds Adam and Lisa to talk about the recent Comedy Central roast of David Hasselhoff, which Lisa was a part of. Lisa says that she didn't know what to say about roastermaster Seth MacFarlane, but she did have plenty of material on the man of the hour. Adam also chimes in with his own stories of The Hoff, and asks Lisa about how badly she had to pee during the recording. Lisa says that it was the easiest roast she's ever had to do because she got to open instead of close. Adam and Lisa delve farther into their own experiences of previous roasts, and talk about the importance of prepping your material instead of improvising. Lisa says the jokes were so great this year, they didn't even hurt her feelings; unlike past participant Pam Anderson, who almost cried.

 

Check out insultcomic.com for Lisa's upcoming dates, and watch her on Comedy Central's roast of David Hasselhoff, airing Sunday, August 15th. 

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Katie Levine

Build and Edit: Chris Laxamana

Phones: Brian Meyer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Aug 3, 2010

Adam’s really excited to bring Ed Begley Jr. back on the show, and talks about his appearance in Who Killed The Electric Car. Speaking of cars, Adam recently had an incident on the road where he made a ballsy pass at a slow driver hoping to never see them again. He also complains about getting lost in the various Los Angeles canyons, and thanks everyone for keeping his book on the bestseller list.

 

Maxine Waters is in the news for her involvement in an ethics scandal. Adam says he met her once and got brushed off. Adam thinks she’s more focused on reelection than doing something to actually help. He talks about the abuse that comes from having too many kids, and also rants about the abuse of the government tax system. Teresa marvels at Bill Gates ability to be charitable while still remaining outside the system, and also jokes with Adam about Lady Gaga copying Madonna’s career. Bald Bryan makes a Jennifer Hudson joke, and Isaac Hayes steps in to say his part.

 

Larry Miller enters the studio, and is fascinated by Adam’s earlier story about getting stuck behind a slow driver. He says that he’s usually the one driving too slowly—though he always pulls over to let people by. Adam and Larry share their recent encounters with rude drivers and being labeled as rude drivers, and Larry points out that the middle finger is a reflex response. Changing subjects, Adam wants to hold a competition for the cheapest buzz, and reminisces on an uncomfortable experience in an Atlanta Liquor store. Before heading out, Adam and Larry plays the Hypothetical Road Trip game, the game with no wrong answers.

 

Ed Begley Jr. comes by, and Adam asks ‘how’s the crusade going?’ Ed talks excitedly about balancing his three careers, and the pleasure of endorsing a variety of green products. Adam asks him about the realities of owning an electric car, and also the benefits of solar roof panels. Teresa then asks Ed about a recent appearance on Fox News, which Ed says happened on a very bad day. They play the clip and applaud his arguments, but Ed also has time to clear up a few things he said. Adam also jumps in with a rant about government’s involvement with codes.

 

The second part of the news starts with a story about recycling. A couple in Spokane collected over 400,000 cans, then used the money they made to pay for their wedding. They are still collecting cans, donating proceeds to Doctors Without Borders (follow on Twitter @WeddingCans). Teresa also brings up a new beer that is 120proof alcohol, and the latest American Idol judge drama. Wrapping up the show, the group discusses Jimmy Smits, and Ed’s new show on NBC: Outlaw. Ed says, ‘It’s not what you’d expect, that’s all I’ll say.’

 

Be on the lookout for Outlaw on NBC, and also visit www.larrymillerhumor.com.

 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Logan Moy

Search: Chris Laxamana

Build and Edit: Logan Moy

Phones: Brian Meyer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Aug 2, 2010

Adam says he spent time with both Jay Leno and Seth MacFarlane this weekend. He went to see Jay because he needed a new piece for his car and Jay has a machine that can easily duplicate parts. Later Adam went over to Seth MacFarlane's house, who is about to host the Comedy Central roast of David Hasselhoff. He wanted advice from Adam, and Adam told him 'be sure to pee' since the unedited performance is much longer. He also stresses the importance of being a man and making your own decisions, and not listening to humorless TV executives.

 

In the news, Chelsea Clinton is officially married. She asked her father Bill to lose 15 pounds before the wedding, but since it cost between $2-5 million, Adam thinks it was a ridiculous request to make. Teresa also brings up that it was an interfaith ceremony, which Adam is adamantly against: 'Flip a fucking coin!'

 

Another news story deals with Obama's appearance on The View. Both Rosie O'Donnell and Sarah Palin had criticisms to make, and Adam is also unsure as to why he did it. He asks 'isn't he supposed to be running the country,' and also thinks that it's beneath him to appear on a TV show like that instead of doing a fireside chat. They listen to a few clips of the show, and everyone thinks it's ridiculous hearing him answer questions about pop culture. Adam suggests if the president wants everyone to feel good, he should do it by fixing the economy and not spending time sitting around on the couch.

 

The last news story deals with Laurence Fishburne's daughter, who has decided to jumpstart her career by appearing in a sex tape. Teresa compares it to the bum she sees living in her neighborhood who once attended Juliard. Fishburne's daughter montana compares herself to Kim Kardashian, saying that clearly it helped her career so why not hers?

 

Adam brings in the lead guitar player for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Nils Lofgren. They chat about the improvisational nature of performing shows, in particular getting set lists only 30 minutes before a show and still not quite adhering to them. Adam asks if there are any songs that he hates having to play, but Nils mostly just jokes about playing songs where no one really knows what the chorus is.

 

They also talk a little bit about hanging out and bumping into random celebrities. Adam points out that there may be higher profile people than Bruce, but no one's cooler. Nils then plays a beautiful Neil Young song, which prompts Adam to talk about the ability for musicians to perform outside their head (unlike comedians). Nils tells more great stories from the road, speaks about attending the Comedy Central roast, and then plays one final song to send everyone out.

 

To find out all of Nils upcoming showdates, check out: www.nilslofgren.com 

 

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje

Producer: Angie Fitzsimmons

Audio: Mike Dawson

Writer: Mike Lynch

Production Engineer: Donny Misraje

Search: Katie Levine

Build and Edit: Katie Levine 

Phones: Brian Myer

Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

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